On the blog today: MALCO MODES petticoats!!
I give you the run down on three different petticoat styles.
And, I’ve teamed up with Malco Modes to bring you a giveaway on their Facebook page! You can enter on Facebook starting today (September 22nd) and it ends on Friday (September 26th).
Winner gets a Meghan petticoat in their size and color choice.
You don’t have to be plus sized to win. <3
I just had a fantastic short public conversation with the owner of JIBRI on Instagram… about “unconventional models” and plus size modeling woes (we were representing from different sides of the industry and expressing the same concerns and frustrations). It got me thinking about how I can better express my frustration with current modeling standards and how the industry’s middlemen (agencies) are failing both consumers and brands by enforcing weight loss.
It’s disheartening as a model to be told “You are beautiful and talented… but, you’re too big to model! Lose weight and we’ll represent you.”
It’s disheartening as a designer to be told that models are not “available” over a size 12 (which is the highest size agencies allow you to be to keep you on as a plus model client in the USA).
It’s AWFUL as a consumer to be a size 20+ and never have any sense of how clothing will fit your body because they pin a size 10/12 model into a bigger dress and call that a plus size model.
What gets me is… these damn agencies are working for US! They are working for the designers/brands. They are working for the models. People get confused about that and think that having an agent means that you are employed through that agency. You are employing an agency when you allow them to represent you. You give them a cut of your money. Your agent is working for YOU… not the other way around.
So, ultimately, it should be consumers and designers who choose what they want to see. But, that’s not how it works. Even if a top designer wants to hire a size 4X model… they will not be able to find one through an agency.
It’s VERY frustrating for a brand like JIBRI to work with a size 16 or 18 model with great success… only to find that the model lost 75 pounds by the next season (because their agency made them)… and now they aren’t even plus sized anymore!
Straight size designers also have it in their head that women size 22+ do not like fashion… and don’t buy fashion… and don’t look good in fashion. I think that’s because it’s nearly impossible to imagine how a designer has up-sized a straight sized garment without seeing it on a model with similar proportions. Most straight size designers have NO idea how to design for a plus sized woman or convert a straight size garment into a plus size.
More designers would know what to do if plus size was a normal part of education and the fashion industry at large.
When it comes down to it…
It’s a societal problem. The fashion industry is telling you that you’re the wrong size and shape… and the only way to look good in plus size clothing is to have a sea of fabric in crazy prints to hide in. And, don’t forget LAYERS! Ohhh… fat women are supposed to wear like 3-5 layers of diaphanous jersey! Be sure to cover those “bat wings” and hide that “gut”… always make sure that your cardigan covers your butt and your skirt covers your knees and lower thighs!
This ended up being longer than I intended it to be…
I obviously have a lot to say about it.
This isn’t just about *me*… I don’t want to be your token size 22/24 model. I think that the world will be a better place when we don’t have one or two shining examples of larger plus models (give me options!). I want to see more representation of larger sized plus models in fashion in general. Whatever we need to do to make that happen… let’s work together to figure it out.
This week’s fashion blogness.
I am also partnering up with Malco Modes on a petticoat giveaway starting Monday September 22nd (on their Facebook fan page).
You can win a fluffy retro quality petticoat like the one I’m wearing in both of these looks.
So, go like their Facebook page and wait for the awesome to start on Monday!
Fashion helped me find joy in my own body again.
These photos represent the last year of my life.
In August 2013 I was five months post-craniotomy (I had a troublesome little brain tumor that needed removing). I’m a “sweller”. I swell up after trauma (it’s just how my body likes to cope). My face and head were swollen. My belly and whole body was swollen. Nothing fit me. I had a difficult time moving.
And, nothing… no warning… no support groups… no literature… could have prepared me for the intense APATHY I felt after surgery. It was like I was suddenly this emotional void of nothingness. A swollen uncomfortable pained black hole.
I didn’t want to die… but, I didn’t care if I lived.
Prior to surgery I was driven… hopeful… ambitious.
When the apathy started to dissolve a bit and I started to “feel” about stuff… it was all horrible emotions. I felt guilty for existing. I felt angry at how hard it was. I felt like I wanted my tumor back. Weird, I know… but, it was the evil I was used to. This was a new struggle. I had absolutely no handle on it (or myself) anymore.
I had a hard time moving. I had seizure issues and left sided weakness.
I hated being in my body.
Then… I found a reason to leave the house twice a week.
I started this Tumblr.
I got into fashion! And, it saved me.
A lot of people think that it’s “narcissistic”… or “self-centered”…
But, it helped me see myself in a new way.
Fashion gave me something to look forward to… and something to leave the bedroom for.
We started going to parks and beaches to take photos. I’d have to walk slowly and deliberately. I’d have to prop myself up, in the beginning. We’d have to take LOTS of photos because most of them were of me looking exhausted or slumped over. We had to keep shooting and shooting until there was just a flicker of the person I used to be.
I remember the beach… and girls standing nearby pointing and laughing at me. But, there was something stronger inside of me screaming “Show that camera that you are more than this.”
I’d look at the photos of myself… and I started to see possibility.
I started to see someone that deserved to live… and enjoy life!
My wonderful husband (who went through hell with me… and stuck with me) saw fashion as a big part of my recovery. He had totally lost the person that he knew and loved. It was hard as fuck. «Emphasis on the swearing!! It was stressful.
Nobody looked at my fashion photos and realized that those photos represented about 20-60 minutes of “going outside”. Those photos represented the best and strongest moments of my life.
While other plus fashion bloggers were taking the subway in New York to go to some busy shopping mall to try on clothes and blog dressing room photos… I was limping to lean against a tree until I felt like throwing up… and then I’d get in the car and go home and have to get back into bed or a chair.
But, nobody realized that.
And, it made me STRONGER…
As I was able… I stretched in bed… we went for walks… we went for weekend hikes…
I started corset training (to get the swelling in my abdomen to go down).
I started standing and walking more and more.
That little flicker I had to force in the beginning… suddenly burst into a bonfire, one day. I was overjoyed. It was short lived… but, easier and easier to be happy!
I decided this last winter to get back into ballet training.
It is another thing that has helped me reconnect with my body (my body remembers what to do). My left side is still problematic (it might be for the rest of my life… but, I’m not going to think about that right now). Now… I’m training in pointe shoes.
I went from being barely able to stand by myself a year ago… to being able to get up en pointe.
I don’t really have an end to this blog entry in mind… because I’m still healing and struggling. I still spend a lot of time horizontal (my brain shuts down and it’s just time to sleep). But, I spend more and more time being active and happy as my body lets me.
Stuff like this isn’t easy.
And, it takes a long time to claw out of a hole that deep.
But, it’s worth it!
I’m not sure how the heck I ended up getting thousands of people looking at this Tumblr… or how I ended up with even a single follower! <3
And with that… I conclude my “One Year Tumblr” post with my current battle cry:
FOR THE JOY OF IT!!!!!
This week in camera phone pictures.
Art collaboration between myself and Rex Luna.
Title: I’m Somebody
Model: Anonymous Troll
Everyone deals with getting trolled in different ways. We’re artists. So, we deal with our feelings through art (in this case… cruel vindictive art).
The internet is full of people who are comfortable with judging you from the safety of their own heads. Today I was called a “Self-Entited Cunt” by a crusader for good. Like a knight in shining underpants he gets ready for his day. Logging in and lashing out.
Hate is a lot of work. And, such a thankless calling.
Somebody has to do it! Right?
He’s finally getting the respect and attention he deserves.
Congrats, Anonymous Troll.
You’ve won at Internet real big, today.